Today, as promised, I will start sharing the actual paperwork. Remember that I am not an attorney and none of the information that I am sharing constitutes legal advice. I am sharing what I have done that was relevant for my specific case. The laws in your state may be different. And the circumstances of your life, I hope, are significantly different from mine. Yet, the paperwork is relatively consistent.
The first document that I needed to prepare included a Summons and Petition for Divorce with Minor Children (the Petition). Our state also offers a joint option, but this was not the right type of case for a joint petition. I instinctively knew that the case could potentially become problematic.
The Petition basically outlines the facts of your specific marriage and what you are ultimately seeking as part of your divorce. It usually starts out with all of the identifying information for both parties. This serves two purposes: (1) it informs the court who the parties are and (2) it provides information required to update vital records, and, if required, other agencies such as the credit bureaus, employers, and the IRS.
The next fact is the date that you were married and where you were married. The court needs to know that you were, in fact, legally married. I guess some states account for something called a “common law” marriage where a party lives together as man and wife for a certain determined amount of time, but I don’t know enough about the specifics of that type of relationship or the legal implications.
In our state, we also have to state that we were residents of a specific county in the state. This is to clearly establish which courts has jurisdiction. That can sometimes be a “first-filed” determination. For example, I know a couple where both parties filed for divorce within days of one another. The wife’s petition was filed first, and thus the county that she had been living in for the requisite period ended up ultimately having jurisdiction while the husband’s petition was dismissed because a case was already pending in another jurisdiction. One of the statements made in the Petition is no other action is pending elsewhere.
The next two parts go hand-in-hand. The first is a listing of all the minor children born in the marriage. In our case, this section had to be modified slightly because two of our three children were born prior to us getting married. And the second is a statement saying that the wife, whether as the Petitioner or the Respondent, is not pregnant.
And then there is the reason for the divorce. As our state is a no fault state, the reason I used was that it was “irretrievably broken;” just another way of saying irreconcilable differences.
After the facts of the case, it starts getting down to the brass tacks, so to speak. Are there any agreements as to support, maintenance, or property division. Are there any jointly owned assets and then what “relief” you are asking for.
The relief usually has about eight items, with the final caveat of “such other relief as appropriate.” This is helpful because chances are you will forget something somewhere along the line. Or things will be discovered that need to be changed. Or you might need to have a ruling on something you never expected.
The rest of the document is the legal restrictions on both parties. In my opinion, most of these you would think would be common sense. In hindsight, others became more important and relevant. The basic restrictions cover what you should not do to the other party or the children; what you should not do with various assets; move with the children more than 100 miles without consent or an order of the court; remove the children from the state for more than 90 consecutive days; conceal the children; disconnect utilities or other essential services; or change the beneficiaries on any policies.
I actually knew about the restrictions once a divorce is filed. This is why I worked so diligently to set things up financially in advance of the divorce and also why I waited until he moved out and we split the personal belongings. Everything else is basically on hold unless you get permission from the courts or execute a stipulation. For example, on July 9, 2019, we filed a Stipulation and Order for Division of Marital Real Property. But I can provide more information about that later and what purpose it served.
I’m sure that there are more things or maybe even less. It all depends on where you live and the court that has jurisdiction. The important thing is to make sure that absolutely everything is accurate, true, and as complete as possible. Take your time. Read your state’s statutes. Do your research and weigh the pros and cons of completing your Petition Pro Se. And remember, your Petition is a legal document, signed in front of a notary public.
Meadows Cozy Corner 
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